OKAY quick update then a new blog soon

Alright everyone, I know that I have been a little M.I.A. for those of you who dont know already I lost my son and have been kind of in a funk since then. I didnt want to post about it because I guess I just wasnt ready to deal with it and also even though the baby's father treated me so poorly at the end I still felt that he deserved to know before I went public with it. It took a few weeks for me to get the nerve up to contact him since I was hurt so badly. I called him several times and I think immaturely hung up on him maybe once or twice. I guess the thought of him getting excited at the thought that I lost our child, sorry my child would have just been too much for me to handle. So I guess I took the wuss way out and sent him a letter. I'm not a person who needs closure all the time because maybe I will never know what really happened with him. Why one week he said he "refused to let me go" and then the next I was out like yesterday's garbage...I guess I will never get to know but I could not go through my life with him thinking I had a son. So I did need closure to that. That whole thing crushed me in a way that maybe I will never recover completely from, I lost a man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with and I lost a friend of 30 years in the process. I got a tattoo on my ankle in memory of my son, its a blue butterfly and I love it.

So heres to a fresh start and a new beginning for me and the girls. I have to remind myself daily that Everything Happens for a Reason. I am going to be having a new blog and Jaimee is going to design it for me so hopefully that will be up soon. I will post it on here when I have the new blog address.

Thanks for all your love and support and for those of you who have known about it for all your emails.